Have you ever wondered if it is possible to keep that magical beginning of a love-relationship?
Where the passion is burning, the love is bursting, the attraction is alive and you are filled with curiosity to discover every little fascinating aspect of your beloved. Their smile, the way they look at you – everything is enchanting, and you are charged by the mere remembrance of their existence in your life. Most people assume that “being crazy about each other” only belongs to the fresh start of a new love and will naturally and gradually die out.
Tantra teaches us that the powerful and captivating intensity of the beginning does not need to flicker and die like a fading candle. Instead, this gift of the beginning can light many more candles without diminishing in luminosity, but only multiplying in splendour. Love can grow, passion can increase, attraction can expand and intimacy can be deepened. The Tantra Temple aims to guide couples on that path of continuously sparking the flame of love in their relationship.
Part of the magic of the beginning is the mystery of the unknown. Your beloved is new to you and their ways are unpredictable, routines of behaviour have not formed yet and all that happens is charged with the spontaneity and freedom of the heart. Usually after a while, the familiar kicks in and we form patterns of being together and we stop to really wonder: ‘who is this mesmerizing and fascinating beloved of mine?’ and we settle for familiarity. We think we know them very well and even form ideas in our minds of who they are and what they are not. In other words, we become familiar and lose the mystery of the unknown.
So what can we do to keep sparking that mysterious flame of love?
Continuous transformation through Love
One tantric secret to keeping the spark of love alive is to be in a process of continuous transformation. When the relationship grows and the lovers continuously evolve, they let go of old parts of themselves and new aspects are born. In this way, you are always fresh, the love is fresh and your beloved always has something new to discover in you.
How can we be open to transformation? We need to courageously choose to continuously step out of our comfort-zone, to sacrifice the safety of what we feel familiar with and to open the door to the adventurous road where the heart is continuously calling us.
When we dare to follow where love summons us, we are sure to always be in a process of transformation. This is a path which is not just about the roses, but also about its thorns. In the words of Kahlil Gibran:
“When love beckons to you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.”
Answering the call of love means to listen to the deepest wishes of your heart and to follow up on them. Even in the relationship, to always wonder whether you are loving, how you can love more and where love would take you, if you would fully love? You might have to let go of certain attachments, burn certain habits and drown certain illusions for the sake of letting love grow.
If due to our fears we ‘would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure’ we can feel assured of the safety and comfort of a relationship, but its mystery and its passionate flame might start to flicker and lose its heat. Only when we dare to open to love’s transformational calling, will we be able to live fully, to laugh all of our laughter and weep all of our tears.’ We can live in intensity, in passion, in openness and surrender to life and the fire of love. Love keeps us alive, while safety, comfort, familiarity and the known slowly kills the mystery. And the light of that initial candle that we received as a free gift will gradually die out.
Tantric Massage opens the gate to a new reality
For many couples it is a great step out of the comfort-zone and into the unknown to come for a tantric massage. They take the privacy of their intimacy into the light of day. When they open up to be touched by another, they might need to overcome some inhibitions, insecurity, jealousy and fears. But what lies at the other side of that horizon is an exploration of a whole new level of touching, feeling, sensing and loving each other which enriches their intimacy enormously. It feels like the opening of a gate to an entire new reality of happiness, ecstasy, eroticism, fulfillment, joy and love that they could not even have imagined existed.
Routines of togetherness are replaced by the excitement of this new world of wonders. The tantric massage and its teachings offer a way of relating to one another that is always unveiling unexplored aspects of one’s being and relationship. Every touch of your beloved can become a totally fresh discovery of their beauty, their qualities, unique nature and your unique connection. You learn to see each other like it’s the first time and fall in love all over again and again. This is possible as you learn to see beyond what you already know.
While your hands might be caressing skin, all your senses are awakened and you can listen curiously and discover the person you are touching. The one receiving this kind of touch will be able to dive deep inside as well and explore territories of their own being they have not yet visited.
This leads to an expansion of our inner world. Of ideas of who we think we are. For the woman, of her femininity, her sensuality and her openness. For the man, of his control, his awareness and his consciousness. An expansion of the attraction between the two because of this increased polarity. An expansion of the understanding of the love they share. As suddenly it can feel much greater than just you and I; an adoration of the Universal Masculine and Feminine might appear. We expand in our ability to connect to more subtle realities, and we open to truths that are universal and valid for all.
A Song of Praise upon your Lips
These are just a few of the many possible effects a tantra massage can have upon your couple relationship. Our aim is simply to offer an entrance into this world and to let you go home with a ‘song of praise upon your lips’, after having tasted this reality. When you discover the building blocks that create this universe and the tools to construct it, you can establish your own temple at home. We point towards the way where treasures can be found, and then it is up to you to start digging and polishing the findings. We are just here to remind you of that mysterious spark of love that initially ignited your hearts and to offer you the means to turn that flame into a long-lasting and ever-transforming wild fire of love.
You can read another article about couple relationships here.