”I call great Eros, source of sweet delight, holy and pure, and lovely to the sight; Darting, and winged, impetuous fierce desire, with Gods and mortals playing, wandering fire: Cautious, and two-fold, keeper of the keys of heaven and earth, the air, and spreading seas.”
So begins an Ancient Orphic Hymn to the Greek God of Love called Eros. This God was keeping balance in the universe by counteracting other forces like Chaos,Thanatos (Death) and Hypnos (Sleep). In Greek the word ‘Eros’ means elevated passion, upliftinglove, or amorous aspiration.In Platonic philosophy Eros was seen as desire that would take us towards reaching our highest ideals, called the Good, the Beautiful and the Truth. Eros is defined as a universal force, an engine or vehicle that makes all things strive towards perfection. It is a desire of the soul that helps one remember what is perfectly beautiful and by striving towards that, one gains access to Truth. This view upon Eros is shared by the tantrics, who use this energy of Eros to accelerate on the spiritual path towards complete inner freedom.
Nowadays we have lost this profound understanding, clear definition, and high perspective upon Eros; the terms Erosand Eroticism have gained a completely different meaning. Usually they are used synonymously with the termSexualityand are used to point toall kinds of experiences, ranging from the most refined and sublime to the mostgross andimpure. While in ancient times Eros was directly connected with spirituality, the religious world nowadays would raise an eyebrow when hearing tantrics would call Eros Godly.
What happened to Eros as the pure and holy source of sweet delight? What is exactly the difference between Eros and Sexuality? What does it even mean when we say Eros can take us towards complete inner freedom? Here we will explain the long-forgotten distinction between Sex and Eros, and dive into how a genuine tantra massage uses the Pure Erotic Energy as an engine for spiritual transformation.
Tantra distinguishes Eros from Sexual Energy
The tantric view upon creation distinguishes two fundamental creative forces. One creative force is the force that we call sexual. The purpose of this force is to procreate all species, humans and animals alike, for the preservation of us all. It is an instinctual force that we can call down-going, for it condenses the most high, godly energy into the world, into creation or manifestation. It is a manifesting energywhich is moving from the most abstract, universal and undifferentiated, towards the most dense, formed and individualized. It is an instinctive urge that has an egoistic and inferior flavor.
The second creative force, is the erotic energy, which is an uplifting force, a so-called liberating energy. It is moving in the opposite direction: from the most contracted, differentiated and manifested towards the most liberated, expanded, and free. We use this type of creative energy for example when we create inspired poetry, great scientific works, or it could be used in lovemaking. It is a pure and refined energy that elevates us and has a sublime flavor.
Very few people in history have been talking about the fact that this clear difference exists between the sexual and the erotic energy. Even us masseurs here in the Tantra Temple, started only to learn about it once we started to dive deeply into the topic. At first they apparently seem the same or very similar, but once you start to feel the difference, you realize they are completely different.
We can recognize the sexual creative energy in our daily life, when we start to feel heavy,tense, goal-oriented, tired, contracted, in contact with frustrations, shame, guilt, impurity, and selfish desires, full of fears and worries. We can recognize the erotic creative energy in our daily life, when we feel light, free, connected, happy, fulfilled, open, alive, spontaneous, playful, and expansive.
Two Problems of Sexual Energy
Since most people do not know this difference between sex and Eros, it is very common that the two are used in a blended way. People can have glimpses of eros and in the same time have some sexual behaviors and it all becomes a mix. Even though sexual energy has its purpose in creation and is therefore not inherently bad as such, it can however have some undesirable effects upon our couple relationship, our love-life, and sensuality when we engage in it and mix it with erotic energy and love.
One problem of the sexual energy is that it is a blinding force. It is an energy, which springs from the ego or the personality and makes you feel like you wear some kind of blinders. You are very focused on your own desire, and it generates an instinctual feeling of just going for that which you want. It is the impulse of a goal-oriented blinding desire. In order to get to that sexual fulfilment that you desperately crave for, it makes you hunt for a specific experience that can even make you lose all rationality and common sense. The fulfilment of such experiences is of a temporary nature, usually generating only more desires, enslaving us gradually.
Another problem with sexual energy is that it has an inclination to amplify all negative tendencies that we have in relation to sexuality and couple relationships. Therefore, when we engage in the sexual energy we usually increase feelings of attachment, frustrations, possessiveness, feeling addicted to someone, jealousy, feeling abandoned without any real reason etc. It gives us this believe that only this person can make me feel happy and fulfilled and the clingy and heavy energy of sexual energy attaches us to them.
Three liberating qualities of Pure Godly Eros
Whereas the sexual energy blinds us, the erotic energy awakens us. Eros is strongly connected to love, with passionate love, romantic love, and pure love. Love that is uplifting and which gives you wings to fly, just like the ancient Orphic hymn (the qoute at the beginning) beautifully sings of. An example where we all experience the fiery awakening force of eros is therefore when we fall in love. In such moments, simply eye gazing and touching the hands of the other give you so many thrills, inspirations, and understandings about the other one and about life. Eros makes us wake up, feel alive, and get a greater understanding of the world surrounding you; looking at it with fresh eyes of a new-born baby.
In the massage we experience this when guests leave, they are often full of inspiration and aspiration saying: “Yes I want to do this with my life!’ or “Yes I want to call this woman that I am in love with and I didn’t dare to call so far” or “I want to do this in my job and career”. They receive such an awakening impulse since Eros has this power of inspiration and aspiration to go and fulfil your dreams in your life.
A second quality of Eros is that it brings instant and long-lasting fulfilment. Unlike the sexual energy, which always hunts for more, Eros creates an intense and instant fulfilment from the tiniest gestures and actions. The smallest things can make our heart overflow and our face glow with a shine of the light of love. A moment of eye-gazing from across the room can be so deeply fulfilling that you don’t need more to feel that you walk on clouds for hours after you left. It frees you from any goal, any desire, or any expectation.
Thirdly, Eros has a deeply healing effect as well, from physical, emotional, mental problems to sexual or emotional traumas, and in terms of revival and healing of relationship issues. Once we saw a couple who had been married for 40 years. They believed their sex life was somewhat dead, but the man still had hopes. After receiving tantra massages alone, he courageously invited his wife to come along. She was a doctor who told her patients, that when you reach menopause you simply dry out a bit and lose your appetite for sex. We started to teach them how to give to each other massage and she discovered her own powerful erotic energy. It was very healing for her, for their erotic life, and their couple relationship. It was bringing them much closer together; having the most fulfilling erotic love-life so far.
Pure Eros Unites us with the Source
When we distinguish Eros from Sex and we learn touse purely the creative energy of Eros, we get to experience Pure Eros. Once you cultivate pure eros in your life, the world that opens up, is a world that many of us don’t even know exists. It is a world of beauty, happiness, love, fulfilment, sensuality, and the most uplifting pleasure. It is like you open a gate to a different universe inside you and between you and your beloved that is simply paradisiacal.
Since Eros is a liberating energy, taking us up towards the most universal of energies, it connects us to the highest aspects of reality. It brings us in contact with the most sublime, most elevated, and most pure. This is why Tantrics do not reject the erotic energy on the spiritual path, but instead emphasize its great value. They do – like all other spiritual paths and religions – avoid the sexual energy, as it would only amplify the ego. On the other hand, Pure Eros awakens the soul and by increasing our resonance with this energy wecan create a Godliness within us.
The beginning of this is the realization that you can simply be who you are and who you are meant to be. You feel yourself deeply, your essence and your natural being comes out. It is the liberating feeling that you can finally be yourself, without putting on masks or playing games, but just be. It helps you to feel very pure, transcending your ego, connecting with your heart, your soul, your essence, and with your beloved, seeing their essence, seeing something very sublime, even archetypal or perfect. Eros unites, it unites you with yourself, your core, with your beloved and even with all that exists and the source of all that: God, the universe or the Absolute.
Tantra Massage: the place to learn and experience Pure Eros
Like all spiritual paths, Tantra is a path of evolution, which is aiming at reaching perfection and the source from which we all come. For this reason, it is essential to learn this difference and to cultivate purely the erotic energy, which can accelerate us on this path towards God. Like Plato mentioned, Eros is a vehicle of transformation of our being and the way that leads man towards union with the Divine. Eros brings us life, whereas the sexual energy will lead us towards sleep (Hypnos) and death (Thanathos).
In order to cultivate this energy within us, we need to first clearly learn to feel the difference, in our touch, thoughts, desires, attitudes, and behavior. This counts for the one giving a massage as well as the one who receives. When your mind is merely focused on the physical aspects, on friction,pleasure, desires and on getting a specific experience or when you feel frustrated when it does not happen the way you wish, you are caught in the sexual energy, naturally taking you down. Whereas when you feel your heart opening, you feel amore refined sensations, you feel free, without a goal, present here and now, enjoying what is, a deep connection with the other and more sublime wishes, aspirations and inspirations awakening, you are on the erotic current, naturally lifting you up.
A massage guest honestly shared his experience of discovering the difference between sexual and erotic energy:
“ I think I was experiencing both during the massage. There were some moments where I was so turned on and aroused and i started to fantasize about you and me together and I just wanted to go there. And then I stopped and I just stayed with what is happening here and allowed myself to just enjoy what is. And in that moment I had orgasms in my heartand feeling a very big pleasure”
When you are focused on simply getting the pleasure you desperately want, you find yourself on the sexual escalator taking you down. While, when you somehow allow yourself to be more and more induced with the erotic feelings and states, it is growing and amplifying inside of you until you are suddenly overwhelmed and can even experience orgasms in places you usually don’t consider orgasmic; like this man’s chest.
A great analogy is when you go for a walk in the park. You don’t go inside thinking ‘Where is the exit? How can I get out the fastest here in order to get to my pleasure of getting out?’.Instead you enjoy the moment, you enjoy the sunlight, the presence of your beloved, the romantic walk, the flowers, the birds singing. It is the same with the erotic experience, you enjoy all the sensorial experiences being fully present with them and allowing them to grow inside.
Long before we were born Eros was praised as the winged god of love, flying us to the deepest depths of our hearts desires. Long forgotten became the wisdom of the ancient that the erotic energy is the fuel we can use to get there where love wants to lead us: home. The Tantra Temple wishes to be part of reviving this knowledge and restore Eros’ rightful place within creation: a pure and godly energy that can help the soul to “remember”. Remember who you are, why you are here and how to reach to that place of complete fulfilment, inner freedom, and heavenly love.
We hope to ignite all with the transforming fire that the experience of pure Eros brings, and the illuminating wisdom that arises from knowing the difference between the sweet flavor of eros and the souring sensation of sex. Throughthe tantricmassage we wish to offer you a taste of this nowadays hidden paradise on earth that lays waiting for you to be discovered.