A question I often get, and for good reasons, is: How to find the right tantra massage practitioner? A tantric massage can be a very profound life-changing experience if you meet the right person to guide you through the process. However, if the practitioner that you find is not the right one for you, at best you might end up with an indifferent experience or at worst the feeling that you took a step back in your personal growth.
So I felt a call to write some guidelines that can help you to navigate in the unknown waters of the tantric world. Below are my
7 key points to look for when choosing the right tantra massage practitioner.
1. Look for someone with proper education/training.
Ask what kind of background he or she has. Learning tantric massage has become readily available in weekend courses or 10-day intensives. Let me be straight: that is way too little! I don’t believe people have bad intentions, but sometimes good intentions are not backed up by proper skills and that can be very damaging. Like the 10-year old getting behind the steering wheel of daddy’s car after playing a few hours of car simulator on the computer. I have trained many tantra masseurs and they all needed to go through big inner transformations, purifying their energy, changing certain attitudes etc. Some of these things requires a lot of energy work, it could take months or even years to get ready.
2. Ask how many hours of massage experience they have.
Of course you want to find someone with experience. If you are a beginner in terms of working with your energy in a tantric way, you don’t want to be guided by another beginner; that would at best be confusing. Look for someone that has at least 200 hours of direct hands on massage experience
3. Daily spiritual practice.
When working so close with other people’s energy, the tantra masseur needs to do a lot of purification of his/hers own energy system on a daily basis. Personally I recommend yoga, pranayama and meditation, but other serious spiritual systems could probably also do the job, like qigong or tai chi. It is essential to have years of experience of knowing your own energy intimately before starting to work with others people’s energy.
“A tantric massage can involve the awakening of the erotic energy and you would want the one who guides you to master his or her own erotic energy perfectly.”
4. Sexual continence.
The best is if you can find someone who has been practicing tantric sexuality in their private life for many years – they are more likely to understand the nature of erotic energy. A tantric massage can involve the awakening of the erotic energy and you would want the one who guides you to master his or her own erotic energy perfectly. That means for men that they never ejaculate but learns how to orgasm without ejaculation. For a woman it would mean that she is able to teach a man how to become multiorgasmic without ever ejaculating. Receiving massage from such an experienced tantric would mean as a woman you could receive a sensual massage resting assured that the masseur is in perfect control with his own desire. As a man you would learn through the massage how to master your own sexual energy much better.
5. Avoid the people who advertise pure pleasure enhancement.
At least if you want a tantric experience. There is absolutely nothing wrong with pleasure, on the contrary, pleasure is a powerful tool to break free of all our self-inflicted limitations. But if you want a real tantric experience, the practitioner will be describing the pleasure as a tool for overcoming inner limitations and expanding our consciousness – not as a goal in itself.
6. Look for recommendations.
Tantra massage is starting to be recognized as a serious way to healing and self-development. More and more people are open to write about their experiences online. If it is a good tantric massage practitioner, he or she must have someone recommending him. Or maybe you even have friends who can recommend you the best in your area.
7. Follow your heart.
In the end, even after all these recommendations, the most important advice I can give is to follow your heart…when you read that website or speak with that tantric massage practitioner, use your intuition to feel inside if it feels right to you. That knowledge that goes deeper than the mind – that just tells you this is the right thing to do for yourself right now.
You can read more about genuine Tantra in this post “Is Tantra dangerous”.
You might also find places like our Tantra Temple where there is an entire team of tantric masseurs that all fulfill the requirements above.
Maybe you already have experienced good tantric massage and now feel the call to become a tantric massage practitioner yourself? Next I will write a blog post about what to look for when choosing the right tantra massage training. Until then you can get some ideas by looking at Tantra Massage Education of the Tantra Temple.