The beautiful dance between the feminine and the masculine
When I was a child, I was so deeply fascinated by the feminine. I was simply amazed by women and felt their beauty as something so bewildering that I longed for, yet could just not understand. It created a state of mystery and awe in me. I felt called towards them, to be with them, to discover and honour them, to love them and to appreciate what I saw: their undeniable beauty. When I became a tantra masseur I felt I got an official permission to do just that: to focus on actively adoring the feminine.
What I discovered in offering over 7 years of tantric massages is that in order for me to actually touch the woman and let her feel her own beauty, there needs to be a deep sense of trust between me and her. And while women want to trust men and men want to trust women, this is not always so easy. History has seen amazing and marvellous acts of men and women honouring and loving each other, but there have also been many misunderstandings that led to misbehaviours and hurtful acts, breaking the beautiful bond of trust between them. `
The trust that men and women are deeply longing for, can be restored for example through conscious and loving touch. And when this trust is restored, a world of new possibilities opens up. It can lead to a sense of openness, of the restoring of beauty and of harmony, beyond the two of us on the massage mattress. It contributes to a collective process of restoring the balance and harmony between the masculine and the feminine that creates the most beautiful, universal dance between them.
So how do we get to that stage? From meeting an unknown man at the door of the temple, to the celebration of this cosmic dance? Well, it goes in steps and starts with the gradual building of trust.
Restoring of trust
When a woman comes for the first time for a massage, she does not know the temple, the masseur or what exactly will happen, yet she has to open herself in quite a vulnerable way in order to let herself be touched. This requires quite a lot of trust, that needs to be carefully and gradually built.
Trust is for me more than an outer sense of safety, it is an inner feeling or condition. The trust comes from feeling the other one is totally with you. You are not just a number that gets checked off the list. Instead you feel the other one is meeting you, seeing you, feeling you, right there where you are. This makes her feel accepted, knowing there is nothing required of her. This is the starting point of trust and what I aim to create with every guest who arrives. When that sense of trust is established, the journey can truly begin.
When she trusts, she starts to open and to surrender and she is able to allow all the good energies and feelings of the massage to really touch her. Even though she then trusts something good is happening, she can be surprised to discover that actually the touch can feel extraordinarily good. She experiences unexpectedly beautiful sensations and often feels like she has never been touched like that before; so angelic or pure, so sensual or erotic, so caring or loving. These new things she feels can heal and restore old and broken things in her heart and can overwhelm her with the beauty of that moment. `
Effects of trust: making the woman blossom
When this seed of trust towards me as a masseur is born in the woman, it does not only affect her connection with me. In fact, it heals her trust in herself, in her femininity, in her body and even in her life and her relationships. I, as the masseur, am like a mediator or a catalyst for her process of trust in life. When she dares to trust me, and this trust can truly heal some wounds from the past, it creates a new level of openness towards the future. What I have seen in many women who come for a massage is that they leave in a state of:
* openness
* relaxation
* playfulness
* a less serious and tensed approach to life
* self-appreciation, self-love, self-confidence
* harmonious relationship with the masculine
This is felt by life itself which responds to her new level of openness and brings her new opportunities, new jobs, new relationships or even moving to new cities or countries etc. `
Also, I realized that while for me it is so obvious, many women do not see or acknowledge their own beauty. Many women don’t recognize their own beauty or even dislike their bodies or hate themselves. When in the massage I am actively adoring their beauty through conscious touch, many women start to see and feel their own beauty as well. I experience this as a sigh of the world. While life has always wanted to show this woman how amazing, how gorgeous and loved she is, the woman has somehow not been seeing it herself. When in the massage the woman truly opens to receive I feel finally, through my hands and the touch on her skin, all the appreciation can flow and be expressed and she can feel and experience her own delicacy. And when she gets to see and feel her own beauty, she starts to trust herself, her femininity, and her self-love, self-appreciation and self-confidence grows.
Lastly, the acquired trust affects the relationship between men and women. There is a collective need for the restoration of trust between men and women. They are naturally attracted to- and complementing one another. However due to misunderstandings and mistakes the harmony between them is not always there. When in a massage, the woman learns to trust the man, she opens to him and allows the natural dance between the masculine and the feminine to unfold freely. The relationship between the man and the woman takes on a universal character and becomes like a game between forces bigger than the two beings. The massage can feel like a prayer between the Masculine and the Feminine. The trust that is built between us extends beyond the massage room. It brings harmony between the masculine and the feminine that has a greater impact.
Conclusion
Trust is an essential ingredient for a successful tantric massage. Without trust, the touch is limited to a meeting of skin to skin. When trust is there, openness is created and a deep journey unfolds. The woman can relax and let go and truly let the touch in. She can feel the beauty of the adoration of the man who wants nothing from her, except to carve her splendour, like an artist who sculpts his sculpture out of the marble. She explores parts of herself that were buried, hidden or forgotten and the dust gets rubbed out of her eyes. She starts to feel, see and experience herself in all her colours. And while the sense of trust makes her open to herself, to life and to men. It does not only restore the trust between her and her masseur, but contributes to the universal harmony between the masculine and the feminine.
Rumi – tantra masseur